Taking your chances on love …

by nothingness on Monday, July 14th, 2008 | Dating, Love

Suppose that you see someone that you are interested in, but you don’t know him/her …

You imagine how happy you are with him/her as you are running in slow motion on the field of roses …

Yet, cold sweat breaks on you and you are starting yourself “what if s/he doesn’t like me, what if I get rejected.”

Reality kicks in …

Let’s try to approach this from a different angle. Approaching a person that we barely know (yet interesting enough to be worthwhile) sounds like an act of faith. True, but it is also an act of probability. It is like tossing a coin. Head, s/he likes you. Tail. s/he doesn’t. Well, we don’t really know him/her, right? So, assigning a 50-50 chance is reasonable. Okay, “there is still a chance to get rejected” you say. True, but at least you play your odds.

If you don’t approach him/her, then you have a ZERO chance to let him/her know about your wonderful self. This is permanent from now to eternity. You might never think about it this way: not only it is hopeless for you but also it is unfair for her/him. You might be the one that s/he’s been waiting for. If you never give him/her that chance, then it’d never be … ever. If you think that s/he is interesting enough to begin with, it is always worthwhile to try. If it doesn’t work, it is not your fault. None of his/hers, either. Good and good aren’t always compatible.

This doesn’t say that you have to do cold shots with strangers. It is okay to do that, but it is better if you have a 3rd person that connects you two. Hey, it is a good conversation starter, anyhow. The key is that we need to get out from our cluster, our own group, to approach people in other groups (if there is someone available within our own group, then we won’t even start this conversation, right?). If we never bridge out from our own cluster to other clusters, then we have a not-a-so-good-chance finding our significant other. By doing so, you gain access not only to new people but also to new info about “who’s who” available. This is a scientifically proven hypotheses in a branch of sociology called social networks.

So, take your chance and toss your coin. Reveal your wonderful self to him/her. Best wishes.

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Tags: Dating, Love

3 Responses to “Taking your chances on love …”

1
winstonian Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Excellent post nothingness!! That first move is always the hardest, though. But when do we make that move? What may be a “move” to one is not a “move” to another. Still, the best way (for me) to make a move is to somehow determine if there is passionate interest in little old me. Then the move is easier. This shark has got to smell blood before he goes in for the kill!

Even magnets need to be placed near each other to act on their attractions. And the language of love is more difficult to solve than magnets!!

Back on topic, I personally feel afraid to look ridiculous going after a girl who may not like me as much as I may like her. And that fear is logical and reasonable enough for me to hold back until the little fishy gives me a tug. Great analogies by me!! I haven’t eaten cold turkey in a long time. And I prefer not to approach a girl cold turkey.
2
bintangkecil Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
hey, “magnets” are my analogy

It is very simple but I’d like to think it that way .. simple, so you don’t have to stress about it too much.

I agree though with nothingness about taking chances. If you don’t take it, then you will never know the outcome. Not knowing the outcome may turn into regrets.
3
nothingness Says:
July 14th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Remember when we go shopping and find that cool clothing on display? It looks so cool but when we try it on, then it is so blah …

Are we bad or is the clothing bad? No. It is a bad fit. Never try never know, never pry the feeling never grow :p.

I guess this is my crude analogy.