by wildcherry on Thursday, September 17th, 2009 | Dating, Love

Wouldn’t you rather be a love interest than a punching bag? Aren’t you tired of the occasional pity-lay and subsequent somber talks that include the phrase, “for the sake of our friendship”? These are the four basic rules for how to escape the dreaded “friend” zone. No more Mister Nice Guy.

1. Tell her, from the beginning, that you like her. That means ask her out, no waffling allowed. It’s ballsy, which is attractive. It’s also honest, which means she’ll have no choice but to admit to herself that yes, you are attracted to her, and yes, you’re definitely interested in more than friendship.

2. Believe her if she says she just wants to be friends. It means she just wants to be friends. In fact, I recently spoke with the Wing Girls (two California women who give great dating advice online), and one of the biggest messages they like to repeat is that if a girl says anything other than “yes,” it means no. That means if she doesn’t outright say, “I like you, too,” or “Yes, I’d love to go on a date with you,” she’s not interested—and it’s time to move on. Nothing will change her mind—not compliments, favors, or attention. Along those lines, another of the Wing Girls’ very insightful pointers:

3. Never go on date-like activities that haven’t been formally called a “date.” Don’t go to the movies with her, or out to dinner or drinks one-on-one, unless you both specifically call it a “date.” Without the title, it’s not a real date—it’s free dinner for her, and a lost cause and wasted emotions, money, and time for you.

4. Get a life. This sounds harsher than it is. It just means that if a woman has shown she’s clearly not interested in you (see point 2 about how to tell), find other people to hang out with, and other ways to spend your time. Unless you can honestly say you’re happy being her friend and never expect (or secretly hope for) anything romantic to develop, you need to distance yourself from her. Join social clubs, church groups, baseball teams. Whatever you want. The more time you devote to yourself, and the less time you devote to her, the better your chances of getting over her faster and moving on with your life.

What do you think of these rules?

Tags: dating tips, dating tips for men, dating tips for women, mr. nice guy, nice guy, single dating tips