by bintangkecil on Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 | Life, Tips

1. Speak less, listen more.

This is the most important part of any conversation. People love to speak about themselves. In social situations, be sure to ask others about their interests, work, opinions, etc. Do not focus on yourself. Pay attention to what is being said. Try to make noise or movements to indicate that you’re still listening. Allow the other person to do most of the talking.

2. Develop and improve your sense of humor.

Begin taking note of the things that make you laugh and what others find humorous. You don’t have to be particularly quick-witted or a great storyteller in order to make others laugh. In fact, some of the funniest (and safest) material is that which is self-deprecating. As a side benefit this approach lets your listener know that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

3. Keep up with the news or current events.

Even with limited time, you can have a cursory knowledge of what’s happening in the world. Subscribe to a weekly news magazine or at least skim the news headlines. You don’t have to be an expert in order to casually refer to something that is newsworthy.

4. Keep your comments upbeat and enthusiastic.

People are instinctively drawn to positive conversation. And notice how quickly they will excuse themselves if you begin discussing your current health problems! Complimenting them is a great place to start. Everyone likes sincere compliments, and that can be a great ice-breaker.

5. Keep your own comments short, simple, and to the point.

No one is interested in hearing you drone on about your own opinions or achievements. Brevity and humility go a long way in social situations.

6. Ask questions

What do they like to do? What is happening to them now? What did they do today or last weekend? Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about. Be polite when asking questions and don’t sound like a stalker. Remember, there was a reason that you wanted to talk to them, so obviously there was something about them that you found interesting.

7. Try to forget about YOURSELF.

Dale Carnegie once said, “It’s much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you.” If you are too busy thinking about yourself, what you look like, or what the other person might be thinking, you will never be able to relax. Introduce yourself, shake hands, then forget yourself and focus on them instead.

8. Know when the conversation is over.

Even the best conversations will eventually run out of steam or be ended by an interruption. Smile if you’re leaving, and tell them you can’t wait to talk to them again soon. Ending on a positive note will leave a good impression and likely bring them back later for more!

Tags: conversational skills, improve conversation technique, improve conversational skills, practice conversational skills, self-improvement tips, tips to improve conversational skills