by bintangkecil on Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 | Diary, Inspiration, Life, Relationship | No Comments

Have you heard of the phrase “Think outside the box”?

Definition of “thinking outside the box” from wikipedia is to think differently, unconventionally, from a new perspective.

In this particular post, I’d like to change it a bit to fit my analogy here.
I’ll change it to “BE OUTSIDE THE BOX“.

When you are outside of the box (instead of inside the box), you’ll be able to see more. You get to see the whole picture of the box.

When you are madly in love, normally what you see is only the things that you’d like to see. Your vision is blinded by the walls of the box. You are inside the box and are limited to see what’s inside the box. You cannot see beyond that. You cannot see the other side of the box; the OUT side.

When you think you’re 100% right, you may be 100% wrong. It depends on where you are.
If you are inside the box, you see the color of the wall is white while somebody else on the outside is looking at the same wall (but different side). He sees the wall color being black.
It’s the same piece of wall; but one color is on the inside and another color is on the outside.

BUT again, the same wall can be painted the same color. Therefore, you two will see the same color.

But see, it’s not that simple. If you add another factor into the wall and paint color scenario; let’s add sunlight. The sunlight is not going to shine on the inside walls; it only shines on the outside walls. So, when the color of the walls (both on the inside and outside) is the same, you will still have different opinions because of that sunlight factor. One would see a gray wall while the other would see a white wall.

In relationships, if you’d like to understand and see things from another perspective, try to be outside the box. Then, think outside the box!!
I’m sure you’ll have a better relationship; love, friends, or even with your relatives.

Background history on “Think outside the box” and the 9 dots puzzle: (taken from wikipedia)

The origin of the phrase is somewhat obscure; John Adair claims to have introduced the problem in 1969[1], management consultant Mike Vance has claimed that the use of the nine-dot puzzle in consultancy circles stems from the corporate culture of the Walt Disney Company, where the puzzle was used in-house.[2] Both Martin Kihn of Fast Company[3] and the Random House Word Mavens[4] concur that the phrase relates to a traditional topographical puzzle called the nine dots puzzle.

According to Kihn, consultants of the 1970s and 1980s tried to make their prospective clients feel inferior by presenting them with the puzzle. The challenge is to connect the dots by drawing four straight, continuous lines, and never lifting the pencil from the paper. The puzzle is easily solved, but only if you draw the lines outside of the confines of the square area defined by the nine dots themselves. Thus, the phrase “thinking outside the box” was born. The Word Mavens refer to Prof. Daniel Kies of the College of DuPage, who observes that the puzzle is only difficult because “we imagine a boundary around the edge of the dot array.”

Here’s one of the many solutions:

In almost any case, if you try to think and be both inside and outside of the box, there is going to be improvement in any of your relationships. At least, I think so.

What do you think?

Tags: 9 dots puzzle, be outside the box, Origin of thinking outside the box, think differently, think outside the box, think outside the box in relationships, thinking outside the box

by sweetcherry on Sunday, December 21st, 2008 | Diary, Inspiration, Relationship | 1 Comment

I received a phone call from a friend. She said she’s feeling bored and lonely.

Is it during the holidays that, when single, people tend to feel lonely and bored. Even if they are happy not being in a relationship, they still want to find a companion during the holidays.

Some say … “It can be a tough experience to be single, in general, and can become even tougher during the holidays.This is the time of year that people really settle in to spending time with their significant others, spouses, relatives, and friends.”

If you are currently not in a relationship, holidays can be a lonely time. You might feel a little isolated from friends who might be spending time with their significant others, family, or other friends. As if everyone is enjoying the holidays with their significant others without you.

Here are some tips for you, who’s single and wants to get through the holiday season ASAP:

- Plan or arrange an event ahead of time. For example: inviting your friends over for dinner or going to a friend’s house for dinner or Christmas party. You may also want to consciously plan a sacred time for yourself. Whatever it is, make sure you will enjoy it and have a good time.

- Make sure you retain any traditions or holidays experiences that are valuable to you. This can be exchanging gifts with your friends, baking cookies, or even drinking party (LOL)

- Make sure you do what YOU want to do; not what everybody else wants you to do. Many people think that single people do not have anything to do during the holidays. (maybe it’s true? maybe not .. ) So, many of us, singles, will get called to do extra chores, shopping, or do baby-sitting for our relatives. If you are OK with it, then fine, just do it! But if you do not feel like doing them, please say NO and do what you want to do.

- Being single in the holidays can be really fun if you are feeling good yourself and looking your best. So, dress up, go out, enjoy, and meet new people.

- Plan a getaway trip during the holiday season. Having something to look forward to can ease the feelings of loneliness which might creep up during this time. There are some options on the World Wide Web for you; just search it on our largest search engine; GOOGLE

Whatever you decide to do, please enjoy your holiday season!

When you’re at your best, that’s when your chance meeting new people is the biggest! (at least I think so)

Tags: advice for singles during holidays, being single during holiday seasons, single during holidays, singles during holidays

by nate on Friday, December 19th, 2008 | Business, Entertainment, Inspiration, News, Tech/Gadget, World | No Comments

It was a surprise news to know that Apple, one of the biggest and leading company in the world, has to accept the fact that their CEO, Steve Jobs, will have to step out from his speech at next month’s Macworld Expo trade show. He’s been the biggest celebrity in the Apple world, and many people say that it will be the end of an era. Steve Jobs has led Apple’s team to its current brand, image, and success. He’s been an inspirational for many people, including me, as a designer. He has a brilliant minds, very serious when it comes to work, but the delivery can be enjoyed by the world.

Read this latest article from Fortune:

SAN FRANCISCO (Fortune) — Where have all the high-flying tech CEOs gone?

This week the tech world lost another headliner when Apple (AAPL, Fortune 500) CEO Steve Jobs made it known that he’ll no longer deliver his signature keynote speech at next month’s Macworld Expo trade show.

Since the announcement comes the same year that Microsoft (MSFT, Fortune 500) co-founder Bill Gates gave up his traditional keynote at another high-tech extravaganza, the Consumer Electronics Show, it underscores the fact that there aren’t many superstars left who can rally big crowds and carry the banner for tech.

It had to happen eventually. The sun is setting on the first generation of rebellious whiz kids who invented the PC, commercialized the Internet and grew their companies into powerhouses

Read more from Fortune

Any comments from you?

Tags: apple, Macworld Expo, Steve Jobs, Trade Show

by nate on Sunday, December 14th, 2008 | Diary, Family, Friendship, Inspiration, Knowledge, Life, Love | 3 Comments

New Year Resolution list by Amazon

New Year’s Eve has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It’s a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make and resolve to
follow through on those changes. Did your New Year resolutions make our top ten list?

1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends

Recent polls conducted by General Nutrition Centers, Quicken, and others shows that more than 50% of Americans vow to appreciate loved ones and spend more time with family and friends this year.

2. Fit in Fitness

The evidence is in for fitness. Regular exercise has been associated with more health benefits than anything else known to man. Studies show that it reduces the risk of some cancers, increases longevity, helps achieve and maintain weight loss, enhances mood, lowers blood pressure, and even improves arthritis. In short, exercise keeps you healthy and makes you look and feel better.

3. Tame the Bulge

Over 66 percent of adult Americans are considered overweight or obese by recent studies, so it is not surprising to find that weight loss is one of the most popular New Year’s resolutions. Setting reasonable goals and staying focused are the two most important factors in sticking with a weight loss program, and the key to success for those millions of Americans who made a New Year’s commitment to shed extra pounds.

4. Quit Smoking

If you have resolved to make this the year that you stamp out your smoking habit, over-the-counter availability of nicotine replacement therapy now provides easier access to proven quit-smoking aids. Even if you’ve tried to quit before and failed, don’t let it get you down. On average, smokers try about four times before they quit for good. Start enjoying the rest of your smoke-free life!

5. Enjoy Life More

Given the hectic, stressful lifestyles of millions of Americans, it is no wonder that “enjoying life more” has become a popular resolution in recent years. It’s an important step to a happier and healthier you!

6. Quit Drinking

While many people use the New Year as an incentive to finally stop drinking, most are not equipped to make such a drastic lifestyle change all at once. Many heavy drinkers fail to quit cold turkey but do much better when they taper gradually, or even learn to moderate their drinking. If you have decided that you want to stop drinking, there is a world of help and support available.

7. Get Out of Debt

Was money a big source of stress in your life last year? Join the millions of Americans who have resolved to spend this year getting a handle on their finances. It’s a promise that will repay itself many times over in the year ahead.

8. Learn Something New

Have you vowed to make this year the year to learn something new? Perhaps you are considering a career change, want to learn a new language, or just how to fix your computer? Whether you take a course or read a book, you’ll find education to be one of the easiest, most motivating New Year’s resolutions to keep.

9. Help Others

A popular, non-selfish New Year’s resolution, volunteerism can take many forms. Whether you choose to spend time helping out at your local library, mentoring a child, or building a house, there are many nonprofit volunteer organizations that could really use your help.

10. Get Organized

On just about every New Year resolution top ten list, organization can be a very reasonable goal. Whether you want your home organized enough that you can invite someone over on a whim, or your office organized enough that you can find the stapler when you need it, these tips and resources should get you started on the way to a more organized life

an useful clipping article taken from about.com

Tags: 2009 new year's resolution, new motivation, New wish, new year's resolution, spending time, Top Ten New Year's Resolution

by winstonian on Saturday, December 6th, 2008 | Family, Health, Health, Inspiration, Knowledge, Life, Love, News, Relationship | 2 Comments

“What is autism? Autism can appear strange to those who aren’t familiar with autism. Children sometimes wail and are overanxious, they don’t respond to parental orders.”

Well, some would say yes and some would say no. There’s all sorts of things to learn about the disorder. I happen to know one personally and there’s that famous high schooler who made a bunch of 3-pointers when he was inserted into his high school basketball game. So I hope you readers will check out my Web site, www.autismrising.com. I’ve even made an autism video there. Thanks for those of you who have checked it out. I know a mother of an autistic child and the sacrifice she makes for her son. It’s pretty life-changing and transforming, when your life revolves around caring for your child.

Other than that I think life is about ability. I think it’s about doing everything you can so that you can be needed and wanted wherever you are. Or, me, specifically. And I think Sean Avery and O.J. Simpson help tell the world how not to behave. So I think there is value to the media. Monkey doesn’t do as monkey sees. That’s just me.

Check out some Books about Autism

by bintangkecil on Thursday, December 4th, 2008 | Humour, Inspiration, Life | 10 Comments

New Year Resolution list by Amazon

A New Year’s Resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. (definition from wikipedia)

The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year’s Day and remain until fulfilled or abandoned.

More socio-centric examples include resolutions to donate to the poor more often, to become more assertive, or to become more economically or environmentally responsible. People may act similarly during the Christian fasting period of Lent, though the motive behind this holiday is more of sacrifice than of responsibility. The new year resolution is one example of the rolling forecast-method of planning. According to this method, plans are established at regular short or medium-term time intervals, when only a rough long-term plan exists.

There are religious parallels to this secular tradition. For example, in Judaism’s holiest holiday, Yom Kippur, one is to reflect upon one’s wrongdoings over the year and both seek and offer forgiveness. The concept, regardless of creed, is to reflect upon self-improvement annually.

Most Popular Goals:

1. Lose Weight
2. Pay Off Debt/s
3. Save Money
4. Get a Better Job
5. Get Fit
6. Eat Right
7. Get a Better Education
8. Drink less Alcohol
9. Quit Smoking
10. Reduce Stress Overall
11. Reduce Stress at Work
12. Take a Trip
13. Volunteer to Help Others

Here are some funny New Year’s resolutions:

* I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

* I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

* I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

* I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.

* Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.

* I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly….

* I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.

* I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).

* I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.

* I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

* I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.

* I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.

* I will think of a password other than “password.”

* I will not tell the same story at every get together.

* I won’t worry so much.

* I will cut my hair.

* I will grow my hair.

* I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I’ll tell him he stinks!

* I will be more imaginative.

* I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.

* I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.

Source: http://www.newyearfestival.com/funny-new-year-resolutions.html

Tags: 2009 new year's resolution, funny new year resolution, new year resolution, new year's resolution, new year's resolutions, popular new year's resolutions

by nate on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 | Family, Friendship, Inspiration, Knowledge, Life, Love, Relationship | 2 Comments

Photography Sotha Bourn

“Gift giving has long been a favorite subject for studies on human behavior, with psychologists, anthropologists, economists and marketers all weighing in. They have found that giving gifts is a surprisingly complex and important part of human interaction, helping to define relationships and strengthen bonds with family and friends. Indeed, psychologists say it is often the giver, rather than the recipient, who reaps the biggest psychological gains from a gift. Frustrated by crowds, traffic and commercialism, people can be tempted at this time of year to opt out of gift giving altogether. A 2005 survey showed that four out of five Americans think the holidays are too materialistic, according to the Center for a New American Dream, which promotes responsible consumption.

But while it’s reasonable to cut back on spending during the holidays, psychologists say that banning the gift exchange with loved ones is not the best solution. People who refuse to accept or exchange gifts during the holidays, these experts say, may be missing out on an important connection with family and friends.”

The social value of giving has been recognized throughout human history. For thousands of years, some native cultures have engaged in the potlatch, a complex ceremony that celebrates extreme giving. Although cultural interpretations vary, often the status of a given family in a clan or village was dictated not by who had the most possessions, but instead by who gave away the most. The more lavish and bankrupting the potlatch, the more prestige gained by the host family.

Some researchers believe evolutionary forces may have favored gift giving. Men who were the most generous may have had the most reproductive success with women. (Notably, the use of food in exchange for sexual access and grooming has been documented in our closest ape relative, the chimpanzee.) Women who were skilled at giving — be it extra food or a well-fitted pelt — helped sustain the family provider as well as her children.

Margaret Rucker, a consumer psychologist at the University of California, Davis, says men are typically more price-conscious and practical when it comes to the gifts they give and get, while women tend to be more concerned about giving and receiving gifts with emotional significance.

Dr. Rucker says she often recounts the story of a man who climbed a tree to retrieve a robin’s egg that matched his girlfriend’s blue eyes. “Women say, ‘Oh, how romantic,’” she said. “But men say, ‘That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of, and also what about the mama bird?’”

Gender differences in gift giving seem to emerge early in life. Researchers at Loyola University Chicago studied 3- and 4-year-olds at a day-care center, all of whom had attended the same birthday party. The girls typically went shopping with their mothers and helped select and wrap the gift. Boys, meanwhile, were often unaware of what the gift was. “They’d say, ‘I took a nap while my mom went shopping for it,’” said Mary Ann McGrath, the associate dean of the graduate school of business at Loyola.

Gift giving is often the most obvious way a partner can show interest, strengthen a bond or even signal that a relationship should end. One colleague of Dr. Rucker’s noted that she knew her marriage was over when her husband handed her a gift in a brown grocery bag.

People who stop giving gifts lose out on important social cues, researchers say. “Who is on your gift list is telling you who is important in your life,” Dr. McGrath said. “It says who is more important and who is less important.”

But the biggest effect of gift giving may be on ourselves. Giving to others reinforces our feelings for them and makes us feel effective and caring, Dr. Langer said.

read this article here, Thanks Tara Parker!

Tags: Christmas, Gift Giving, Gift giving psychology, giving tradition, Holiday, relationship