Members of the Handsome Men’s Club Video
by wildcherry on Thursday, March 11th, 2010 | Humour, Life | No Comments
Earlier this week Jimmy Kimmel aired a hilarious skit that, in just a few days, has become an Internet sensation. Oh and it features more than a dozen really hot guys—one of them shirtless.
Check it out :
Albert Einstein solve Most Complicated Problem about Women
by wildcherry on Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 | Humour, Life | No Comments
It turns out Albert Einstein even has his own theory about women. Although it’s never officially published nor approved by the scientific world, this equation stays true in most of men’s life:
PS: The above equation is not actually an Einstein Equation! I hope you don’t need to read this to find out about it.
Funniest Courtroom Exchange between Lawyer vs Witness
by wildcherry on Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 | Humour, Life | No Comments
I’m not sure if these lawyers and witnesses are nervous in the courtroom but these are “real courtroom exchange” between lawyer and the witness:
- Lawyer: “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?”
- Witness: “I only have one, you know.”
- Lawyer: “Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?”
- Witness: “By death.”
- Lawyer: “And by whose death was it terminated?”
- Accused, Defending His Own Case: “Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?”
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
- Lawyer: “What is your date of birth?”
- Witness: “July 15th.”
- Lawyer: “What year?”
- Witness: “Every year.”
- Lawyer: “Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?”
- Witness: “There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet.”
- Lawyer: “Can you identify the rifle?”
- Witness: “Yes. There was something written on the side of it.”
- Lawyer: “And what did the writing say?”
- Witness: “‘Winchester’!”
- Lawyer: “What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?”
- Witness: “Gucci sweats and Reeboks.”
- Lawyer: “Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?”
- Witness: “No. He was wearing a mask.”
- Lawyer: “What was he wearing under the mask?”
- Witness: “Er…his face.”
- Lawyer: “This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?”
- Witness: “Yes.”
- Lawyer: “And in what ways does it affect your memory?”
- Witness: “I forget.”
- Lawyer: “You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?”
- Lawyer: “How old is your son, the one living with you?”
- Witness: “Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.”
- Lawyer: “How long has he lived with you?”
- Witness: “Forty-five years.”
- Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?”
- Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”
- Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
- Witness: “My name is Susan.”
- Lawyer: “Sir, what is your IQ?”
- Witness: “Well, I can see pretty well, I think.”
- Lawyer: “Did you blow your horn or anything?”
- Witness: “After the accident?”
- Lawyer: “Before the accident.”
- Witness: “Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.”
- Lawyer: “Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?”
- Witness: “Yes.”
- Lawyer: “Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?”
- Witness: “Yes, sir.”
- Lawyer: “What did she say?”
- Witness: “‘What disco am I at?’”
- Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
- Witness: “No.”
- Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
- Witness: “No.”
- Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
- Witness: “No.”
- Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
- Witness: “No.”
- Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
- Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
- Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
- Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”
- Lawyer: “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”
- Lawyer: “And you check your radar unit frequently?”
- Officer: “Yes, I do.”
- Lawyer: “And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?”
- Officer: “Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly.”
- Lawyer: “What happened then?”
- Witness: “He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’”
- Lawyer: “Did he kill you?”
- Witness: “No.”
- Lawyer: “Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–”
- Witness: “Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment.”
- Lawyer: “You were there until the time you left, is that true?”
- Lawyer: “So you were gone until you returned?”
- Lawyer: “The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?”
- Lawyer: “Were you alone or by yourself?”
- Lawyer: “How long have you been a French Canadian?”
- Witness: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
- Lawyer: “Was this a male or a female?”
- Lawyer: “Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?”
- Witness: “I went to Europe, sir.”
- Lawyer: “And you took your new wife?”
- Lawyer: “I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.”
- Witness: “That’s me.”
- Lawyer: “Were you present when that picture was taken?”
- Lawyer: “Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?”
- Lawyer: “Do you know how far pregnant you are now?”
- Witness: “I’ll be three months on November 8.”
- Lawyer: “Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?”
- Witness: “Yes.”
- Lawyer: “What were you doing at that time?”
- Lawyer: “How many times have you committed suicide?”
- Witness: “Four times.”
- Lawyer: “Do you have any children or anything of that kind?”
- Lawyer: “She had three children, right?”
- Witness: “Yes.”
- Lawyer: “How many were boys?”
- Witness: “None.”
- Lawyer: “Were there girls?”
- Lawyer: “You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?”
- Lawyer: “You say that the stairs went down to the basement?”
- Witness: “Yes.”
- Lawyer: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”
- Lawyer: “Have you lived in this town all your life?”
- Witness: “Not yet.”
- Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”
- Lawyer: “Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Eddington at the Rose Chapel?”
- Witness: “It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30pm.”
- Lawyer: “And Mr. Eddington was dead at the time, is that correct?”
- Lawyer: “What is your brother-in-law’s name?”
- Witness: “Borofkin.”
- Lawyer: “What’s his first name?”
- Witness: “I can’t remember.”
- Lawyer: “He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first name?”
- Witness: “No. I tell you, I’m too excited.” (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) “Nathan, for heaven’s sake, tell them your first name!”
- Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?”
- Witness: “I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?”
- Witness: “I refuse to answer that question.
- Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?”
- Witness: “No.”
- Lawyer: “Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?”
- Witness: “No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.”
- Lawyer: “What is your marital status?”
- Witness: “Fair.”
- Lawyer: “Are you married?”
- Witness: “No, I’m divorced.”
- Lawyer: “And what did your husband do before you divorced him?”
- Witness: “A lot of things I didn’t know about.”
- Lawyer: “And who is this person you are speaking of?”
- Witness: “My ex-widow said it.
- Lawyer: “How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?”
- Witness: “Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good.”
- Lawyer: “Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”
- Witness: “All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.”
- Lawyer: “Were you acquainted with the deceased?”
- Witness: “Yes sir.”
- Lawyer: “Before or after he died?”
- Lawyer: “Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
- Witness: “No. This is how I dress when I go to work.”
- The Court: “Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.”
- Lawyer: “Did he pick the dog up by the ears?”
- Witness: “No.”
- Lawyer: “What was he doing with the dog’s ears?”
- Witness: “Picking them up in the air.”
- Lawyer: “Where was the dog at this time?”
- Witness: “Attached to the ears.”
- Lawyer: “When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?”
- Other Lawyer: “Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.”
- Lawyer: “And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?”
- Witness: “Oral.”
- Lawyer: “How old are you?”
- Witness: “Oral.”
- Lawyer: “What is your relationship with the plaintiff?”
- Witness: “She is my daughter.”
- Lawyer: “Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?”
- Lawyer: “Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?”
- Lawyer: “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?”
- Lawyer: “And what did he do then?”
- Witness: “He came home, and next morning he was dead.”
- Lawyer: “So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?”
- Lawyer: “Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?”
- Witness: “He didn’t offer me nothing. He just said I could have the furniture.”
- Lawyer: “So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?”
- Witness: “I didn’t see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.”
- Lawyer: “It was covered?”
- Witness: “Yes, bandaged.”
- Lawyer: “Then, later on…what did you see?”
- Witness: “I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.”
- Lawyer: “Could you see him from where you were standing?”
- Witness: “I could see his head.”
- Lawyer: “And where was his head?”
- Witness: “Just above his shoulders.”
- Lawyer: “Do you drink when you’re on duty?”
- Witness: “I don’t drink when I’m on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.”
- Lawyer: “Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?”
- Witness: “The victim lived.”
- Lawyer: “The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn’t it? You too were shot in the fracas.”
- Witness: “No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.”
- Lawyer: “Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?”
- Witness: “Because he was argumentary, and he couldn’t pronunciate his words.”
source: thingspeoplesaid
South Park Cartman’s Poker Face Song
by wildcherry on Tuesday, March 9th, 2010 | Humour, Life | No Comments
Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” Song has reach a new height after South Park decide to remake the song. Here’s Eric Cartman singing Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”:
Here’s Cartman singing a funny song about minorities at the waterpark on one of the South Park episode:
Clever and Funny Bus Advertising Pictures
by bintangkecil on Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 | Humour, Life | No Comments
Monster.com
Careerbuilder.com
Duracell
Air India
Jet Star Asia
Axe
National Geographic
Quit Smoking campaign
Reverse Driving (the ad was placed on the back of the bus)
Smint
Pepsi
Creative and Funny Toilet Signs
by wildcherry on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 | Humour, Life | No Comments
Below are the most creative, innovative and funny toilet signs from around the world that you probably never encounter in real life!
Hilarious and Funny Venn Diagrams
by bintangkecil on Sunday, November 8th, 2009 | Humour, Life | 1 Comment
Venn diagrams or set diagrams are diagrams that show all hypothetically possible logical relations between a finite collection of sets (groups of things). Venn diagrams were conceived around 1880 by John Venn. They are used in many fields, including set theory, probability, logic, statistics, and computer science.
Here are some hilarious and funny Venn Diagrams for you to laugh at:
Time When I Am Truly Happy
Social Media
The Truth About Chicken
Music Snob
Nerd
Things To Be Kept Out of Reach of Children
Serial Killers
Harry Potter
A Unification Of Cutlery
The Love Story of Two Circles
Japan’s karaoke
Black, White, and Red
Halloween or Child Molesters
Baring My Heart
Rules for Women (What Men Wants Women to Know)
by wildcherry on Thursday, October 29th, 2009 | Dating, Family, Love, Relationship | No Comments
We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us griping about you leaving it down.
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
5. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.
6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7. Crying is blackmail.
8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
9. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes – tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
15. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.
16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
24. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
25. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
27. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
28. You have enough clothes.
29. You have too many shoes.
30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it’s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn’t really matter what they’re saying anyway.)
31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.
32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.
PS: If you are a man don’t send this to your wife or girlfriend, instead send it to your female friends and hope that it’ll reach your significant other :).
Michael Jackson Death Jokes
by wildcherry on Friday, June 26th, 2009 | Humour, Life | 65 Comments
First of all I would like to apologize in advance if this post offends any Michael Jackson fans but the jokes below suppose to cheer us up :). If you’ve more please add it to the comments sections and i’ll update this post.
Michael Jackson died from human nature.
Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney films?
A: Disney films can still touch kids.
Michael Jackson had to cancel all of his up coming dates.
They were named James(aged 9) and Thomas(aged 11)
Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett?
A: About three hours.
Did you hear? The Jackson Five are offering a 20 percent discount on their reunion!
Will his organs continue to be donated to children?
Michael Jackson did manage to whisper a brief message to paramedics on his way to the hospital… “Put me in the children’s ward.”
*Knock* *Knock*
Who’s there?
Not Micheal Jackson.
Out of respect,
McDonalds has released the McJackson burger,
50 year old meat between 10 year old buns.
Michael is the only person I know who was born a black man and died a white woman.
I dont feel any emotion after MJ’s death… He never really touched me when I was younger…
When Farrah Fawcett arrived at heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children to be safe.
So God killed Michael Jackson.
When Michael got to heaven, Elvis saw him and whispered in St. Peter’s ear. St. Peter then told MJ at the pearly gates, “Beat it. Just beat it.”
Q: Why did Michael Jackson die on the same day as Farrah Fawcett?
A: He didn’t want her to be the only white woman grabbing all the headlines.
Apparently Michael Jackson died picking his nose. Doctors said they couldn’t blame it on the sunshine or the moonlight. They blamed it on the boogie.
——————————————————————————-
To all the Michael Jackson fans, when you’re laying in bed tonight, as a tribute to Michael, JUST BEAT IT.
No embalming needed!
Michael Jackson died of a heart attack? What did he do, walk into a room full of pre-schoolers?
Well, at least he has practice burning.
Q:What did Ed McMahon and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: Ed always said “Here’s Johnny…” and Michael always said “Where’s Johnny…?”
We really shouldn’t joke about MJ, think of all the people he touched, especially the children.
——————————————————————–
Q: Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15?
A: “It’s when the big hand touches the little hand”
Q:Why did Michael Jackson go to hell?
A: Because he was bad.
MJ didn’t have a heart attack, he was found in the children’s ward having a stroke…
Do you think he’ll wake up in the middle of the night doing Thriller?
Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since that time MaCaulay Culkin slept over…
I guess Jacko stopped because he had enough, SHAMONE!
Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.
Because Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.
Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue… He actually died having a stroke in the children’s ward.
In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.
In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.
Doctors are looking into claims that MJ’s death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.
I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.
Micheal jackson will always be with us… he is not biodegradable.
Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.
It has been released that MJs last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.
In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.
Michael Jackson’s ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.
Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.
Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.
Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.
Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!
Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”
What was Michael Jacksons last hit? The floor!
Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. He really shouldn’t have looked at the man in the mirror.
But seriously folks, this whole situation is really not funny…
Because he’s up there molesting baby Jesus right now.
Enough Jokes 
please also check out our article about Michael Jackson Funeral info and Jamie Foxx MJ Tribute.
Funny Advertising Pictures
by bintangkecil on Sunday, April 19th, 2009 | Humour, Life | No Comments
Sofitel: “Mona Lisa of Loo Art” (walls of male toilets in New Zealand)
Samsonite: Worldproof
Jobsintown: “Life’s Too Short”
Peugeot: “Introducing the Peugeot 207. So Sexy, it’s Unfair”
Titanic Parody
Nike: “You are faster than you think”
Pepsi: Lemon Twist
Timotei (shampoo)
WonderBra
WMF: “Sharper Than You Think”
Real Hiphop: “Blackpower”
Post-It
Land Rover: More Pull
Sauber pantyhose: “Absolutely invisible”
WWF: “15 km² of rain forest disappear every minute”
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