by wildcherry on Monday, December 7th, 2009 | Dating, Love, Relationship | No Comments

Women, these 20 phrases commonly use by men when they want to break up… the “aka” is what men really want to say to you.

1. “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now, but if I were… you’d be the one!”

aka:”I’m still not ready to spend the rest of my life sleeping with one person, but if I were, it might be you.”

2. “I still really care about you.”

aka: “… Just not enough to really date you or spend much time with you. But I still care!”

3. “I’d love to still be friends and hang out after all this.”

aka: “Can you hook me up with your hot friends after you get over me dumping you?”

4. “I just really need to focus on (fill in the blank… school, job, God, whatever) right now.”

aka: “I don’t think you’ll take this break-up well, but you can’t argue with this one.”

5. “I’m moving to a foreign country, but I’ll call you when I get back.”

aka: “I’ve got to get away from you, fast!”

6. “You can do so much better than me!”

aka: “And I know I can do so much better than you!”

7. “It has been so great getting to know you, but I think we need to spend time with other people.”

aka: “I’ve already met someone I’d rather spend more time with.”

8. “I’ve got a fear of commitment.”

aka: “I’ve got a fear of being tied to you for life!”

9. “I’m feeling smothered, and I just need to get some space.”

aka: “You’re way too in my business, too fast – I am ready to get you out.”

10. “The guy who marries you is so lucky!”

aka: “I just hope I’m not that lucky!”

11. “I think we need to see other people and just see what happens.”

aka: “I’m already sleeping with someone else, and I’m just telling you this before you find out.”

12. “I still want to be with you, but I just want to take a break.”

aka: “I want to try sleeping around, but keep you close in case I can’t find anyone else.”

13. “I’ve got a lot of issues I need to work on right now.”

aka: “My main issue is that I’m just not that into you.”

14. “I feel like you’re more of a friend than a girlfriend to me.”

aka: “You’re just not as cute as you were when we started dating.”

15. “I just need something more.”

aka: “I’m not sure what more is, but I’m kind of bored, and this line sounds really convincing.”

16. “I’m still not over my ex.”

aka: Ouch. This one’s probably true.

17. “I wish we’d met five years from now instead.”

aka: “I’m really not that mature right now, but I probably will be in five years, and then I could’ve made a great boyfriend/husband!”

18. “We’re just in totally different places in our lives!”

aka: “I’m in this place called I Want to Go Out Drinking, Partying, and Sleeping Around, and you’re in this place called Let’s Settle Down, and those two places don’t fit well together.”

19. “I just respect you so much.”

aka: “Please don’t tell your friends I’m a jerk, because I might want to date some of them.”

20. “I think we got too close, too fast.”

aka: “When you put your toothbrush beside mine in the bathroom, that really freaked me out.”

PS: please don’t tell men where you read this list

Tags: break up phrase, funny, Humour, joke, Phrases Men Use to Break up, relationship

by nate on Saturday, October 31st, 2009 | Attraction, Entertainment, Humour, News, Places to Visit, Travel | No Comments

John Edward Szeles (born September 9, 1958, in Detroit, Michigan), better known by the stage name The Amazing Johnathan, is an American stand-up comedian/magician. His act is mostly composed of hijinks, interaction with one specific audience member and a few legitimate magic tricks which often fail for comic effect. Self-described as the “Freddy Krueger of Comedy”, Szeles usually performs wearing his omnipresent headband and his shows frequently use gore for comedic effect. He is also good friends with fellow performer Criss Angel, and has helped Angel perform a variety of illusions, most notably during his three guest appearances on Mindfreak.

This vibrant comic magician keeps audiences on the edge of their seats with his impulsive raw and abrasive wit, all while exhibiting spontaneous magic and showcasing impressive special effects.

In March 2007 it was reported that Szeles was diagnosed with “a serious heart condition”. The performer’s website identified the condition as cardiomyopathy and went on to assert that, due to a combination of weight loss and blood thinners, he was doing well and did not intend to retire.

As of 2009, Szeles was performing regular shows in Las Vegas at the Harmon Theater.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal has given Amazing Johnathan much praise, by including him on the coveted “Best of Las Vegas” list in the “Best Show” category, and also awarding him “Best Comedian of the Year” for 2002 and nominating him in 2003. Most recently, Amazing Johnathan was recognized as “Best Local Villain” by the Las Vegas Weekly Reader’s Choice Awards in 2004 and 2005. He is also a two-time winner of the International Magic Award for “Best Comedy Magician.”

Tags: Best Show in Vegas, Comedian of the year, comedy, funny magician, Humour, Jonathan, Las Vegas show, magician, penny wiggins, psychic tanya, What's the good show in Vegas

by wildcherry on Thursday, October 29th, 2009 | Dating, Family, Love, Relationship | No Comments

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes – tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

15. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.

16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

27. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. You have too many shoes.

30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it’s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn’t really matter what they’re saying anyway.)

31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.

32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

PS: If you are a man don’t send this to your wife or girlfriend, instead send it to your female friends and hope that it’ll reach your significant other :).

Tags: humor, Humour, Jokes, rules for women, rules of dating for women, what men wants, what men wants women to know, what women needs to know

by wildcherry on Tuesday, August 25th, 2009 | Dating, Love | No Comments

There are many firsts that can happen in our life. For the most part, firsts in our lives are very memorable. Sometimes they can be a positive memory or they can be a memory that you wish you could forget. One such opportunity that could be a memorable first or one that can be looked upon as disastrous is the first date.

So below I listed some topics that you should NEVER touch during your first date:

1. How much time you spend in the couch watching TV (ie. sports, reality shows, drama series, etc)
2. How much time you spend in the couch playing video games
3. How much time you spend in front of the computer browsing @ online dating sites ie. Match.com, Eharmony, MySpace, Facebook, Friendster and Yelp!
4. How much time you spend watching porn or the kind of porn you watch
5. How little time you spend in the shower
6. How many times you’ve been in jail
7. Explaining a Calculus equation or any scientific formulas
8. How much you miss your ex
9. Your weight and how much you miss your six pack
10. How many women/men you’ve slept with
11. Lets review - basically just show up, let her eat, DON’T say anything…pay and repeat for next date

Tags: dating humour, dating tips, first date, first date conversation, first date tips, Humour, What Men should Never Talk on First Date

by wildcherry on Friday, June 26th, 2009 | Humour, Life | 65 Comments

All Michael Jackson albums

First of all I would like to apologize in advance if this post offends any Michael Jackson fans but the jokes below suppose to cheer us up :). If you’ve more please add it to the comments sections and i’ll update this post.

Michael Jackson died from human nature.

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney films?
A: Disney films can still touch kids.

Michael Jackson had to cancel all of his up coming dates.

They were named James(aged 9) and Thomas(aged 11)

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett?
A: About three hours.

Did you hear? The Jackson Five are offering a 20 percent discount on their reunion!

Will his organs continue to be donated to children?

Michael Jackson did manage to whisper a brief message to paramedics on his way to the hospital… “Put me in the children’s ward.”

*Knock* *Knock*
Who’s there?
Not Micheal Jackson.

Out of respect,
McDonalds has released the McJackson burger,
50 year old meat between 10 year old buns.

Michael is the only person I know who was born a black man and died a white woman.

I dont feel any emotion after MJ’s death… He never really touched me when I was younger…

When Farrah Fawcett arrived at heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children to be safe.
So God killed Michael Jackson.

When Michael got to heaven, Elvis saw him and whispered in St. Peter’s ear. St. Peter then told MJ at the pearly gates, “Beat it. Just beat it.”

Q: Why did Michael Jackson die on the same day as Farrah Fawcett?
A: He didn’t want her to be the only white woman grabbing all the headlines.

Apparently Michael Jackson died picking his nose. Doctors said they couldn’t blame it on the sunshine or the moonlight. They blamed it on the boogie.

——————————————————————————-

To all the Michael Jackson fans, when you’re laying in bed tonight, as a tribute to Michael, JUST BEAT IT.

No embalming needed!

Michael Jackson died of a heart attack? What did he do, walk into a room full of pre-schoolers?

Well, at least he has practice burning.

Q:What did Ed McMahon and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: Ed always said “Here’s Johnny…” and Michael always said “Where’s Johnny…?”

We really shouldn’t joke about MJ, think of all the people he touched, especially the children.

——————————————————————–

Q: Why did Michael Jackson die at 3:15?
A: “It’s when the big hand touches the little hand”

Q:Why did Michael Jackson go to hell?
A: Because he was bad.

MJ didn’t have a heart attack, he was found in the children’s ward having a stroke…

Do you think he’ll wake up in the middle of the night doing Thriller?

Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since that time MaCaulay Culkin slept over…

I guess Jacko stopped because he had enough, SHAMONE!

Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.

Because Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.

Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue… He actually died having a stroke in the children’s ward.

In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.

In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.

Doctors are looking into claims that MJ’s death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.

I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.

Micheal jackson will always be with us… he is not biodegradable.

Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.

It has been released that MJs last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.

In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.

Michael Jackson’s ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.

Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.

Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.

Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.

Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!

Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”

What was Michael Jacksons last hit? The floor!

Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. He really shouldn’t have looked at the man in the mirror.

But seriously folks, this whole situation is really not funny…
Because he’s up there molesting baby Jesus right now.

Enough Jokes please also check out our article about Michael Jackson Funeral info and Jamie Foxx MJ Tribute.

Tags: humor, Humour, Jokes, michael jackson, michael jackson dead, michael jackson dead jokes, michael jackson death jokes, michael jackson dies jokes, michael jackson dying jokes, michael jackson jokes, michael jackson tribute, Mj, mj dead jokes, mj death jokes

by wildcherry on Sunday, April 19th, 2009 | Humour, Life | No Comments

The Japanese has reinvent “Tug of war” game or most common known as rope pulling. What do you think of this new game?

Tags: comedy, Humour, Japanese, japanese game, japanese game show, tug of war

by wildcherry on Monday, March 16th, 2009 | Humour, Life | 9 Comments

1. Nice men are ugly.

2. Handsome men are not nice.

3. Handsome and nice men are gay.

4. Handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. Men who are not so handsome, but nice, have no money.

6. Men who are not so handsome, but nice n with money, think we are only after their money.

7. Handsome men without money are after our money.

8. Handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.

9. Men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. Somewhat handsome man, kinda nice and have some money, and thank God heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. Men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
“Men are like a fine wine.They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark
until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.”

Tags: how to find men, Humour, men of your dreams

by wildcherry on Sunday, September 21st, 2008 | Dating, Humour, Life, Love | No Comments

Tags: Humour, joke, speed dating

by butce on Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 | Humour | 3 Comments

Udara terasa sangat panas di kota Biak siang itu Karena itu dalam perjalanan pulang dari sekolah,saya putuskan untuk singgah di pinggir laut sambil mencari teman saya Manufandu, yang sudah tidak sekolah selama 3 hari. Mama Yoseba , neneknya sedang duduk duduk di pintu gubuk reotnya yang menghadap ke laut sambil mengunyah sirih. Sekali kali dia meludahkan ludahnya yang memerah karena sirih sambil memperhatikan cucunya yang berumur 4 tahun, telanjang bulat mencari keong di pinggir pantai. Begitu melihat saya dia tersenyum memperlihatkan barisan giginya yang menghitam karena kebanyakan makan pinang.

“Nyong ( tuan muda), si paitu lagi kelaut…, mau nyong?” sahutnya sambil menawarkan sebuah pinang, dengan sedaun sirih dan sedikit kapur dari kantongan kainnya yang lusuh. Kuatir menyinggung perasaannya, saya ambil pinang tersebut dan mengunyahnya, setelah beberapa saat saya campur dengan sirih dan sedikit kapur. Mama Yoseba terkekeh –kekeh melihat expresi saya yang meludahkan ludah berwarna merah, konon pinang sirih bisa menguatkan gigi.

“Nyong… Yesus itu lahir di pulau Biak” Sahutnya sambil menunjuk kalung salib di leher saya.

“Ha ? kok bisa mama….” Sahut saya heran.

Mama Yoseba mengangguk angguk.”Kita orang Biak sudah tahu Yesus sebelu misioanaris datang..

Nyong tahu ndak, Biak itu pusat dunia….” Oh oke, si mama Yoseba ini belum belajar geographi pikirku.

“Dan pulau supiori adalah Nasareth….” Katanya lagi.

Penasaran dengan cerita tersebut,akhirnya saya menggali lebih banyak cerita dari para tua- tua, dan inilah cerita tersebut.

Konon sebelum kedatangan para misionaris. Adalah seorang tua bernama Mansar Manarmakeri.

 Read more of the story here

Tags: Humour, irian, jesus

by butce on Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 | Humour | 3 Comments

Siang itu seperti biasa para wartawan mengelilingi , the most popular tokoh YANG LAGI BERKUNJUNG KE washintong, siapa lagi kalo bukan “Gus Dur..”

” Yaaah…menurut saya harusnya Amerika juga ikut berperang dengan Indonesia..” Sahut Gus Dur dengan santainya sambil kipas-kipas dengan mata merem melek. Namun komentar dia yang santai itu sempat memicu kepanikan diantara wartawan..

“Yang benar..gus ..kok begitu..”

“iya kan dari sejarah setiap kali Amerika perang dan menang perang negara yang diserbu itu akan dibantu dan akhirnya menjadi maju..lihat aja Jepang sehabis nagasaki dan hiroshima dibantu sekarang maju. Juga Jerman setelah Hitler sekarang jadi industri maju…

Dan juga Afganistan habis perang dia dibantu ama Amerika..

Tags: Gus Dur, Humour